I'm reading this and muttering, "Hmmm, guy can write."
You're off to a great start here, dear heart.
Aaron Powell
· 2 years ago
Thank you very much, I'm glad you like it. You'll have to let me know if your impression of the start maintains itself through the remaining 27 parts I've published so far.
Jeff
· 2 years ago
Hmm.. I like it so far but Elliot's character is throwing me off.
The guy just "buried" his little daughter who obviously died extremely painfully. Then his wife got sick and he found her with a steak driven through her jaw.. and had to bury her... Now after watching his neighbor bury her husband, all he can thinkg about is getting laid? It doesn't make sense to me. Maybe Elliot is just a dick.
Stephen Wood
· 2 years ago
Guys been without physical contact with another person for a long time. Don't think he's a dick just needs to hold be be held. But I don't understand how the electricity could still be on, and why if the fridge was broken why didn't he just borrow another ?
Aaron Powell
· 2 years ago
The electricity and fridge issues are simple continuity errors on my part as I worked out the state of the world in my head. This early in the book, I didn't have a good vision of exactly what the plague had done. I knew why the plague happened and what caused it, but it's impact was fuzzy. I plan to fix all that in the second draft.
So thank you for pointing those problems out. That's exactly the kind of stuff I need to know about.
Nicole Armstrong
· 2 years ago
I like that he lies about the steaks being frozen. I hope you can still keep that in the second draft somehow when you sort out the electricity issue.
georgedonnelly
· 1 year ago
A suggestion. Make it available in Kindle format. I prefer to read stuff on my Kindle now, and I bet a lot of other Kindle owners do as well. It's a lot more pleasant. Thanks!
All Comments
I'm reading this and muttering, "Hmmm, guy can write."
You're off to a great start here, dear heart.
Thank you very much, I'm glad you like it. You'll have to let me know if your impression of the start maintains itself through the remaining 27 parts I've published so far.
Hmm.. I like it so far but Elliot's character is throwing me off.
The guy just "buried" his little daughter who obviously died extremely painfully. Then his wife got sick and he found her with a steak driven through her jaw.. and had to bury her... Now after watching his neighbor bury her husband, all he can thinkg about is getting laid? It doesn't make sense to me. Maybe Elliot is just a dick.
Guys been without physical contact with another person for a long time. Don't think he's a dick just needs to hold be be held.
But I don't understand how the electricity could still be on, and why if the fridge was broken why didn't he just borrow another ?
The electricity and fridge issues are simple continuity errors on my part as I worked out the state of the world in my head. This early in the book, I didn't have a good vision of exactly what the plague had done. I knew why the plague happened and what caused it, but it's impact was fuzzy. I plan to fix all that in the second draft.
So thank you for pointing those problems out. That's exactly the kind of stuff I need to know about.
I like that he lies about the steaks being frozen. I hope you can still keep that in the second draft somehow when you sort out the electricity issue.
A suggestion. Make it available in Kindle format. I prefer to read stuff on my Kindle now, and I bet a lot of other Kindle owners do as well. It's a lot more pleasant. Thanks!