Aaron Ross Powell - Latest Comments in Karaoke Quintessence: Chapter 2: Tweens

Re: Karaoke Quintessence: Chapter 2: Tweens

TAS — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 18:07:22 -0000

Hmm, personally, I disagree. Money is a powerful motivator and Detective Dale, as he aptly noticed, is without work. Would he rather sit around and starve?

Maybe you only need play up his desparation a little.

I'm 100% into this so far. It reminds me a lot of Neil Gaiman, who I'm a huge fan of. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Re: Karaoke Quintessence: Chapter 2: Tweens

Aaron Ross Powell — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 18:24:08 -0000

Thanks for the feedback, George. I think you may be right on this
one, though I'll need to think about it a bit more. Of of the
interesting things I've come across while writing is the disconnect
between the characters in my head (where I'm wholly aware of their
inner workings -- sort of) and on the page, where only their language
and descriptive text shows their motivations. What makes sense to me
doesn't necessarily make sense on the page.

I'll keep this in mind when I head back -- eventually -- for the
second draft.

Re: Karaoke Quintessence: Chapter 2: Tweens

George Donnelly — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 17:00:16 -0000

The detective's motivation is weak. That he was curious doesn't seem like enough to outweigh the objections he voiced earlier.

Re: Karaoke Quintessence: Chapter 2: Tweens

Aaron Ross Powell — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:24:08 -0000

I'll keep this in mind when I head back -- eventually -- for the
second draft.

Re: Karaoke Quintessence: Chapter 2: Tweens

Aaron Ross Powell — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:24:08 -0000

Thanks for the feedback, George. I think you may be right on this one, though I'll need to think about it a bit more. Of of the interesting things I've come across while writing is the disconnect between the characters in my head (where I'm wholly aware of their inner workings -- sort of) and on the page, where only their language and descriptive text shows their motivations. What makes sense to me doesn't necessarily make sense on the page.

I'll keep this in mind when I head back -- eventually -- for the second draft.

Re: Karaoke Quintessence: Chapter 2: Tweens

George Donnelly — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 12:00:16 -0000

The detective's motivation is weak. That he was curious doesn't seem like enough to outweigh the objections he voiced earlier.

Re: Karaoke Quintessence: Chapter 2: Tweens

George Donnelly — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 10:00:16 -0000

The detective's motivation is weak. That he was curious doesn't seem like enough to outweigh the objections he voiced earlier.